What motivates your behaviour?

What values do you exhibit in your behaviours and interactions with others?

Many people do not stop to think that their actions represent their values but every behaviour is motivated by a deeper function- even if we are not aware of the value at play.

Values are qualities that can be useful in planning a path or guide us through decisions; as a compass is useful for a bush walker- they guide us in the direction that feels authentic.

Values are not goals-  for example: getting married is a goal, whereas being loving is a value that can be part of your life today even if you are single; you can be loving to yourself, your friends, your pets.

Values can be varied- whether it is loving, tidiness, quirkiness, spontaneous, cheerful, calm, compassionate, wise, funny, healthy- and they take turns being in the foreground depending on the context. It would not be sensitive or appropriate to stick firmly to the value of quirkiness or tidiness if a friend was seeking comfort after a loved ones’ funeral.

If you are interested in learning more about how to live by your values you can access many types of lists of values online. Choose 20 that appeal the most to you, then take the top 15 and think how you can model them to others over the next week. You needn’t even talk about this experiment- but see if there is any difference in your relationships as you do this.

Values never need be explained to another- they come from a deep integral part of you that has been informed by all of your living thus far. They will change over time so it useful to re-do your list yearly or after significant changes in your life.

Clarifying values and creating goals and behaviours that create a life based on valued action is a tremendously satisfying activity that can greatly improve how someone lives their life.

If you feel you have lost touch with what is important in your life and would like to learn more about doing this call Laura today at Torchlight Counselling 0402424946.

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